There are two traumas that happen when an assault occurs. The first is the event itself. The second is when people you trust don’t believe you about it.
“I interrupted and said ‘she said stop, take your hand out of her vagina right now, she said stop!’”
If we support out-of-hospital birth, we should welcome these opportunities for growth, even when they are uncomfortable.
“That doesn’t make sense, for her to wait until after she’s abused to call me. If she’s really worried about it, I can meet her at the hospital as her doula, and make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Medicine is a culture of trauma, where well-intended folks are immersed in abusive and traumatizing training and then expected to care for others.
Birth plans are women being smarter than hospitals when hospitals fail to follow humane, science-based practices. That they have to be written down and pre-approved by a doctor is evidence of how little women’s decisions in birth matter.