Secondary trauma, trauma experienced by those who witness the abuse of others, spills over into the lives of everyone who sees it, who is complicit in it, who is conflicted about their role in it, who fights with everything in them against it, who perpetrates it.
There are two traumas that happen when an assault occurs. The first is the event itself. The second is when people you trust don’t believe you about it.
“I interrupted and said ‘she said stop, take your hand out of her vagina right now, she said stop!’”
If we support out-of-hospital birth, we should welcome these opportunities for growth, even when they are uncomfortable.
“That doesn’t make sense, for her to wait until after she’s abused to call me. If she’s really worried about it, I can meet her at the hospital as her doula, and make sure that doesn’t happen.”